The Diva Code

The Diva Code From One Of The Most Famous Divas Of Our Time Comes The Diva Code Miss Piggy On Life, Love, And The 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do Over Her Years Of Celebritude, Miss Piggy Has Gleaned, Glommed, And Garnered Much Wisdom About What S Wrong With Everyone Else And What S Right With Her Now, In The Latest Book From The Muppets, Miss Piggy Is Ready To Share With Vous Her Best Advice On Love, Fashion, Career, Attitude, And Her Secrets Of Diva Dom It S Time For You To Release Your Inner Diva Get What You Deserve And Give Others Exactly What They Deserve Take, For Example, Miss Piggy S Insights On A Few Of The Idiotic Things Men Frogs DoHE S JUST NOT READY TO COMMIT You Give Him The Pleasure Of Your Company Plus Untold Hours Of Prep Time And In Return He S Not Willing To Commit To Anything Mention A Romantic Getaway, A Steady And Exclusive Dating Policy, A Long Term Relationship, Marriage And He Runs For The Exit WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO The Best Defense Is A Good Offense, Which Means That You Must Never Give Up Trying To Make Him Commit Remember Never Stop Being Offensive.HE S STATUS OBSESSED It S All About The Label, The Fancy Car, The Platinum Encrusted Watch, The Vacation Place In Gstaad, And The Showy Perks WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO Give Moi His Number.HE S A NARCISSIST This Guy Can Usually Be Found At The Gym Defining His Triceps, Biceps, Bicuspids, You Name It And When He S Not Pumping Iron, He S Primping In Front Of The Mirror Tweezing, Conditioning, Moisturizing, And Otherwise Invading Your Personal Grooming Space WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO Ask Yourself If He S Such A Hunk That He S Worth It If So, Get Mirrors If Not, Dump Him But Get Mirrors Anyway After All, Narcissism Isn T A Bad Thing If It S About Vous. Learned so much from Miss Piggy such as, It is better to live beyond your means than beneath your standards and Never hold a grudge Act on it Here I have always thought pigs were only good for bacon who knew they held so much wisdom, almost makes is a shame to fry themalmost Happy Nation
Because of course I read this book.